How Much Good Did Starting Over Really Do?
by canadian-whitegirl
Summary: this is the sequel to 'I love you Greenpeace' I hope you enjoy it. There is a small jump between the stories but to too bad. Enjoy :) JEMMA
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! This is the sequel to I love you Greenpeace. If you haven't read that, then go read it. If you have read it, then enjoy. :)

"Do you want me to drive home?" Emma asked in a quiet voice on the way out of the cemetery. He nodded. She nodded in reply, still having troubles coming up with words after what she had witnessed.

She climbed in that orange civic that had been on the road for too long, and started the car. She drove through her new town. Atlantic Canada, it was something completely different from Toronto. The town was small, and quaint. Everyone knew everyone, and being the newbie in town was attention grabbing, especially when she arrived with Jay Hogart.

She almost started to cry again, Jay, this day was about him. She held in a sob, how much good did starting over really do? She had been happy in the beginning, but then it got harder. The illness really got into his head. They told him many times that there was a good chance of survival. In the end, they were wrong.

She pulled into the driveway of the Hogart residence. She stayed in the driveway for several minutes. This was all so difficult for everyone. There were flowers, and sympathy cards all around. Even for Emma, even if she wasn't family.

Kaitlyn had been there today, but it only made sense. Even if she wasn't around, she was still Anna's mother. Anna, the poor soul. She was barely 1 year old when she got sick. Anna Kaitlyn Hogart was diagnosed with leukaemia 6 months ago, and today we had her funeral.

Emma sighed, and turned to Jay. "Babe do you want to talk?"

He shook his head, "No Emma, I don't want to talk. I didn't want to talk yesterday, or this morning when you asked, and I still don't want to talk now."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just don't know how to handle this situation Jay. I'm trying to help you in any way that I can. What can I do?" Emma said exasperated.

"Emma, we just buried my daughter. My 18 month old baby. Anna was my world since I saw her. I regret leaving and missing those key moments of her life. I don't know how to handle this," Jay said then put his head in his hands.

She put a soothing hand on his back, but cringed at the comment of regretting Toronto. If he hadn't come to Toronto, then she would still be there. She wouldn't have the love of her life, but that didn't matter today. Today she had to be there for Jay, this was his time to fall apart, and Emma's time to pick up the pieces and help him be okay.

"Jay I'm sorry, I can't say that enough. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry I don't know how to make it better. All I can do is be here for you," Emma said keeping her hand on his back.

He moved his into her lap, and started to cry again, he truly was falling apart, "Emma that's what I need. I need you to hold me, and be there for me, and love me, and please don't leave me because I've fallen apart."

She almost cried herself, "Jay of course I'm not going anywhere, and I will do anything you want me to. Come on, let's go inside before everyone gets back. We can just go to our room."

He nodded and sat up in his seat. She got out of the car, and met him at the front of the car. She gave him a sad smile, and took his hand. She led him all the way to their basement bedroom in his parents house. He walked into the room, and fell onto the bed. He was trying his best to ignore Anna's baby things around the house.

She sat down on the bed next to him, where he lay on his stomach. She put a soothing hand on his back, and moved her manicured fingernails a little bit. He sat there and simply cried for more than an hour, and she sat there the whole time.

He stopped himself, and sat up. She moved closer to him wiping his tears away. He gave her an appreciative smile with tears still in his eyes. She pushed his hair back from his face just a little, and let her hand trail down his face. She had no idea how to really make him feel better.

She sighed, "What can I do Babe? I feel so helpless just watching you cry."

He shrugged, and stood up. He finally took off his black suit, and changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. She stood up, and turned her back to him, "Will you unzip me?"

He walked over, and unzipped her black dress. It fell away from her shoulder just a little. Jay hugged her from behind, and kissed her head. "I love you Em."

She sighed, and melted into his touch, "I love you too Jay."

He held her so close, "I have no idea what I would do without you." She sighed, and closed her eyes. He kissed her collar bone, and her held rolled to the side. He kissed up her neck softly, and slowly. She turned around in his arms, and kissed him full on.

He didn't immediately break away, but the kiss didn't last too long. "I need you more than you know." He whispered so she could barely hear him, but she did.

She ran her fingers trough his hair, and didn't let go of him. He laid his head on her shoulder, and nearly began to sob again, but he held himself together. She didn't let go as long as he didn't move. He finally detached himself from her with a weak smile.

"I'm going to go get some coffee from the kitchen. Do you want some?" Jay asked as she began to change clothes.

"Sure," Emma shrugged, and continued to change. She switched into sweatpants, and a tank top. She was taking out her earrings when she heard a thump outside her door.

She opened the door quickly, and found Jay sitting in the middle of the basement crying. He was holding one of Anna's toys in his arms. Emma rushed over to him, and knelt down in front of him. She held his face softly, "Babe, look at me. It's okay, you go back there. I'll go get us coffee. Babe, come on."

He didn't stop crying, or let go of the toy, but he stood up and Emma helped him back into their room. She closed the door behind her, and walked up to the kitchen. Bev was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee herself, "How's Jay?"

Emma sighed, "Not so good. I'm really trying my best, but I feel like I'm not really helping him."

Bev sighed as well, "Emma you're there for him, and that's what he needs."

She took the two cups of coffee and nodded, "I know that, but he just looks so helpless. I hate it."

Bev sighed, and said her final words, "Well as much as you're there to help him, you need to make sure you feel this too. It's not just him who has a right to mourn this."

Emma nodded, and returned to the basement.


	2. Chapter 2

She opened the door, and Jay was sitting on the bed staring at nothing. The toy was gone, Emma didn't know where it was. She handed him a cup of coffee, "Em, I'm sorry."

She sat down next to him, "Why are you sorry Babe?"

He sighed, and looked her in the eyes, "I've been so preoccupied, I disregarded that you have a right to be upset here too."

She shrugged, "I loved Anna, but she was your little girl. You were her father, and that was your first child. This is your place to fall apart, and my turn to pick you back up."

He shrugged, "I just don't feel like it's fair to her. She had her whole life ahead of her, and now it's gone."

Emma sighed, "But she had a good life. She was happy with all kinds of people to love her. You should be proud of what you did for her."

He nodded, and sipped his coffee, "I know, and I am. She was my little girl, and I just loved her so much."

She sighed, and ran her hand through his hair, "Can I tell you a secret?"

He looked at her, and nodded. She continued, "Ever since the very first day I saw you with Anna, I knew that I wanted to have you're children someday."

He gave a small smile, "If that day does come, the I would love you all forever."

She smirked the way he often did, "What do you mean if? It's more of a when. I know I said we were long term, but I don't think you realize how long term I meant. I want you forever Jay, there is no changing that."

He smiled, and kissed her lips for the first time in the days since Anna's death, "It's good to hear you say it. I always knew, but I didn't want to push you."

She leaned against the head board next to him, and put her head on his shoulder, "I knew it since the moment you called me an ignorant priss, and I slapped you."

He chuckled, "Of all the moments in our past, you picked that one? God, why was I such a jackass?"

She smirked, "Why was I such an ignorant priss?"

He sighed and set their coffee cups aside, and pulled her onto his lap, "I'm sorry I was such a jackass to you. I love you Em, I'm so glad you're here for me."

She laughed, "You weren't a jackass. It was sexual tension, don't you remember?" Then she turned serious and continued, "I love you too. That's what love is, being here for you through everything."

He kissed her forehead, "I can't say it enough, I love you, I love you, I love you."

She smiled, and cupped his cheeks, "I know, and I promise to never forget. Do you want to sleep? It's been a long day."

He nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good."

xxx

Emma woke up in Jay's arms but didn't move. She just laid there with a smile. As much as she was still upset about Anna, she was glad she still had Jay. That was one thing, she really did appreciate everyone now.

She started thinking, maybe it was time to take a trip to Toronto for a while. It was summer, and she hasn't seen them since they left. She sighed, yeah she needed to take a trip home.

Jay whispered, "Em, you up too?"

She nodded against his chest, "Yep, I'm awake. I love you."

He almost chuckled, "I love you too. I was thinking, maybe it's time to go back to Toronto. For good."

Emma sat up and looked at him, "Are you sure? I mean, this is your home and you just lost Anna."

He nodded, and sat up as well, "Yeah, I mean. It will be a good initiative to move on. Besides, my home is wherever you are. If you want to go back to Toronto then we'll go."

She smiled, "I was really missing everyone. Besides, how much good did starting over really do, outside of Anna?"

He nodded, "Exactly, and now that Anna's not with us she would want us to be happy. I think it's time to pack."

She squealed and jumped into his arms. He held on tight. Clearly she was excited, and he was too. Going back to where they met, and all their memories could be good. "I love you so much," he whispered still not letting go.

She looked him in the eyes with all seriousness. She always heard him when he said how much he loved her. Sometimes it gave her a feeling in her stomach. Then there was times like this, when she could really feel deep, deep down that he meant it with all of his heart. She smiled and cupped his face, "I love you so much it hurts. Losing Anna, really made me realize just how much I really do love you. I don't ever want to lose you. Not ever, I want to be with you forever."

He tightened his grip on her just a little, "Forever will only be the beginning. I don't want to ever be without you." She smiled and pressed her lips to his with all the force and courage and love she could get together. He fell back onto his back on the bed. She didn't release him, and she laid on him with her hands in his hair. He really didn't want this to end, but it had to if they were going to leave.

He pulled away from Emma, and she smiled at him with a gleam in her eyes. "Let's pack. I have to bring you home."

She smirked a moment, "What? You weren't enjoying yourself?" He smirked back at her, and pressed his lips to hers again, seeing where this was going. She moaned when his lips met her neck several times. His hands found their way into her shirt, and massaged her stomach lightly. She sighed, and pressed her lips to his neck and shoulder. HE groaned, and removed her shirt.

She removed her hands from his hair, and moved them down towards the waistband of his pants. She slid them off with ease, and continued to kiss him forcefully. He flipped her underneath him, and she grinded her hips into his. He slipped he pants off as she had.

He groaned when she wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed tighter. She smirked knowing what she could do to him. He continued to kiss her neck, and collarbone. She sighed, and kept her hands on his back. The heat building up between her legs was becoming too much. She let out a small whimper. He looked at her in the eyes before kissing her. She pulled away, and barely whispered, "Please Jay."

He smirked and positioned himself accordingly. He pushed in and she gasped. She always did, and she probably always would. He went quickly and she scratched his back, and moaned. Soon enough, Emma rolled off of Jay with a sigh. She snuggled into his side with a smile. "Now I'm too tired to pack. We can always wait until later," She said running her fingers on his hard stomach.

He chuckled, "I want to go home. You're the one that started this, so get your ass up."

She scoffed quietly, "Like you didn't want to."

He smirked, "What was that? You know I did, but you still started it." She sat up with her back to him, pulling the sheet up with her. She glanced back quickly at Jay, he was smirking, like always. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She melted into his chest without even thinking. He kissed her ear lightly, "Are you mad? I love you, you can't really be mad at me."

She smiled, "I'm not mad, I love you too. Are you going to come back to bed with me now?" He rested his chin on her shoulder, and she could feel him nod his head. She smiled when he pulled them both back down into bed. SHe snuggled in as close as she could.

"So Em, what do you want to do before we head back to Toronto?" Jay said as he ran small circles on her arm.

She shrugged, "Nothing really. Ou, maybe we should go to The Island. Stay in a tent, and go to the beach."

He smiled with a nod, "Fine, I don't like the beach all that much, but whatever."

She sighed and snuggled in just a little more, "Do you remember the last day of school when you took me to the beach?"

He stopped for a moment, and looked down at her, "Yeah, I do. I won't ever forget it either."

She sighed, "It's okay now, I've let go of that. I just don't want to miss out on things with my family because of Snake's mistakes."

He sat up still keeping her close, and looking at her, "Are you sure? I just won't ever forget what happened, and how much it upset you. I love you, and he hurt you. It nearly killed me to see you in so much pain."

She nodded and looked down, "I know, I tried so hard to distract you from it. After you found out, I felt you wouldn't stop looking at me like I was going to break if you touched me."

Jay tried to look in her eyes, but she avoided him, "What do you mean you tried to distract me?" She sniffed back a few tears, and avoided his gaze. "Emma, what are you saying? We had sex for the first time that night. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She still avoided his gaze, but he tilted her head up so he could look at her. Tears were spilling from her eyes, "Jay, I don't know what to say. I thought we had put that all behind us, and I didn't think it would ever be brought up."

Jay had an emotionless look on his face, "Emma, please tell me that you didn't say all that stuff that weekend to distract me. If you weren't ready then you should have told me. You are allowed to tell me anything, I want you to tell me everything."

Emma sucked in a sob, "Jay, I tried so hard to convince myself I was ready. It wasn't bad after that weekend, because I just knew we were longterm. It still hurt me though."

Jay remained in the same position he had been, "Emma, I remember nearly everything from that weekend. It was a great weekend for me. That night, I teased you and you cried. It wasn't just because i teased you was it?"

Emma couldn't look at him any longer. She could feel his heart breaking. She jumped up from the bed in a hurry, and took the sheet with her. Jay reacted fast, and grabbed her into his arms. She didn't move, intact she was completely still for a moment. "Jay, I'm sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am. I knew how much that time meant to you."

He turned her around to look at him, "Hey, don't say sorry to me. I'm the one that is sorry. I should have figured it all out. It breaks my heart that you felt like you needed to distract me from your problems."

She sighed, and looked at him, "I loved you that weekend, but we moved so fast that I wasn't ready. It wouldn't have been long, and I would have been ready."

He tucked some hair behind her ear, "You just weren't ready that night. I'm so sorry Emma. I love you, and I loved you that night, and every night since. Even before that. Don't ever forget it."

She smiled, and most of the tears subsided, "I love you too. I'm sorry that you found out like that. I just-"

He kissed her forehead, "It's okay. It's all over. We're okay, I'm glad I at least know about what really happened that weekend. Let's pack, it's time to go home."


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, I really am sorry though," Emma said sliding back into her clothes, as Jay did too. He walked over to her, and took her into his embrace. She held onto him tightly, and didn't let go. "Don't be sorry, I'm the one who is sorry. Stop, okay? It's over, no harm done. Come on let's pack."

She smiled, and stepped out of his arms with a gracious smile. She grabbed the boxes from the back of the closet from last fall. She smiled, and set them onto the floor. She started with the small things like their clothes all folded into the box neatly. Then the pictures, and other small things. By the end of the day, they had packed virtually everything.

Jay came back into the bare bedroom with a sigh, "I put all of Anna's toys into boxes, and put them in the closet. They should stay here."

Emma stood up, and walked over to Jay, "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, and tried not to cry again, "No, I'm not really that great, but I will be okay. We just need to move on. So I was thinking that we do a trip to the island for the weekend, then come et our stuff then straight home."

She nodded her head, "Sounds good. I packed a bag for us. We can leave in the morning." He nodded, and brushed a piece of hair from her face. She smiled, and got the chills at his touch.

"Let's go to bed. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow," Jay said pulling her into bed behind him. She laid down with her head on his chest. She yawned, and whispered "I love you Jay."

"I love you too Greenpeace," Jay said with a small smile before closing his eyes. They both drifted off to sleep quickly. Neither Emma, or Jay left each other's arms all night. It was comforting to have someone there for you for so long.

xxx

Emma woke up earlier than usual, she leaned over, and reached for her phone. She looked at the date, and shot up in bed. Had she actually forgotten? It was their first anniversary, and she had just forgotten. She felt horrible. There had been so much going on lately that she forgot.

Jay was still passed out in bed. She quietly got up, and dressed herself. She had a simple v-neck t-shirt and shorts on. Emma snuck out of the room, and took off to Jay's car. She climbed in, and took off for town. She needed something to show she didn't forget. First she went to the bakery, and got a cake that said happy anniversary, then she got two coffee's at Tim Hortons before heading home. She also stopped, and got rose pedals on the way.

She walked in, and everyone except Jay was gone. He was probably still downstairs sleeping. She brought the cake downstairs quietly, and set it up on the table in their room. She set the coffee down on his bed side table, and spread the rose pedals around before climbing back into bed.

He heard him move a little, "What are you doing?"

She hesitated before laying back down next to him, "Bathroom, no big deal. Go back to sleep."

He smirked, "Bullshit. What were you doing? You've been gone for almost and hour."

She sighed, "Fine, I tried really hard to keep it all a surprise. Happy anniversary Babe."

He sat up, and smirked looking around the room, "Nice try. You totally forgot, and I know it."

Emma groaned, "Yeah, okay I did. Don't be mad, I tried really hard to make it look like I remembered. I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "Whatever, at least you tried."

She laughed, and got out of bed to get the cake. She handed it to him, and he gave her a weird look, "Happy Birthday?"

She looked at the cake, "Fuck, I was in such a rush I got the wrong one."

He chuckled, and wiped away the icing with his finger, "There, that's better. See not a hard problem to fix."

She fell back onto her pillow with a grunt, "I can't believe I'm that dumb." Jay looked at her, and sighed. He took some icing on his finger, and smudged it down her leg.

She narrowed her eyes, and sat up. She stuck her finger in the icing, and smudged it all down his bare chest. He chuckled, "You gonna lick it off?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "So that's where this going, is it?" He laughed, and she put more icing on her hand. He braced himself, wondering where it was going to go. First she got his nose, then the rest on his neck. He took some more on his finger, and smudged it all over her exposed cleavage. She rolled her eye at him again, and he set the cake aside.

He moved towards her, and she looked at him with a smirk. Jay smiled, "I think you might need some help with that." She nodded, and he removed her shirt. He kissed her lips forcefully, before licking the icing off her chest. She gasped when he got close to her breasts.

She smirked at him, and in return began to lick his chest clean of icing. He groaned when her tongue found his neck, and she smirked. She let her head fall back onto the pillow as he kissed down her stomach, and licked the remainder of the icing off her leg, while trying to take off her shorts.

He let out a small whimper when he hand found her panties. He smirked, and came back up to meet her lips. He dove his hand inside her panties, and she bucked to his hand. He moaned into his mouth as their tongues collided. He could feel himself getting harder, and so could she. Her hands left his hair, and went for his pants. She stoked him firmly and slowly. He groaned, and kissed her neck leaving a small mark behind.

He removed her final piece of clothing, and she willingly spread her legs for him. He smirked, and looked into her eyes as he pushed inside of her. She clung to his back with a loud gasp. He never got tired of feeling her nails dig into his back. He moved quickly, and she cried for him to go faster. He obliged, and soon he rolled off of her with a loud sigh. Both of them still trying to catch their breath.

She snuggled into his side, and smiled. He wrapped his arm around her, "That has got to be some of the best sex we've ever had."

She shook her head, "No, second best. Remember that time I was going to go stay with Manny, then you called me but I was in the bedroom? I think that's number one."

He sighed, "I was petrified that you weren't going to come home, until I realized that you never left. Then I was just scared that you were still going to leave me."

She propped herself up on her elbow, and cupped his face with her hand. "I'm not going to leave you, I wasn't going to leave you that night either. I just didn't know if living with you was a great idea. I would still have been all yours. No doubt in my mind."

He smiled at her, and kissed her nose, "I know that now. I was still scared though, sometimes I still am." She sighed, and pressed her lips to his while mumbling into his mouth about how she was never going to leave him, and how much she really did love him.

They pulled apart, with small smiles on their faces, and Jay reached into the drawer next to his bed. He handed the small velvet box to Emma. She smiled, and opened it slowly. Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor when she saw the diamond ring in front of her.

Jay took it out of the box, and sat with a smile right in front of her, "Emma Christine Nelson, I know this seems ridiculous, and I'm not saying tomorrow, but someday, will you please be my wife?"

She shot into his arms, and nearly choked him to death. He held her tight, and assumed her answer was yes. She finally pulled herself back enough to look him in the eyes. Her eyes were all teary, and she grinned. She held out a shaky left hand, and he happily slid the ring onto her finger.

He kissed her lips softly, and she cupped his face. She pulled away, and wiped away her own tears of joy, "I love you so, so, so, so much Jayson Michael Hogart. You have no idea how much I love you."

He chuckled, and held her waist softly, "I think I do. Almost as much as I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I know I already posted a chapter 4, but I took it back, and reedited it. I also added, and changed it slightly. I had lost my spark for this story, but luckily I found it again. I really hope you continue reading because all I can say is DRAMA. I have all kinds of ideas brimming in my head. **

**I also want to let you know that I am open to suggestions. If you want to PM me an idea, or leave it as a review I will give it some thought. Just so you know I do read all reviews, and they make me very happy. Thank you so much! xo**

"Come on Em, let's go home," Jay said pulling her towards his little orange civic. She stopped before getting in, and locked her lips on his. She rested her hand on his cheek, and his kept both hands firmly at her waist.

She smiled, and got in the car. They took off down the highway, and were headed back for Toronto. Emma closed her eyes, and laid her head back on the seat with a sigh. Jay glanced at her for a second, and took her hand in his, "Em, you're coming to live with me in the apartment right? I really don't want to be without you."

Emma looked over at him, and bit her lip, "I thought about it, but didn't want to assume anything. I want to come stay with you."

Jay glanced at her again for a second, "Em, you know I want you to live with me. I was just being sure, I mean you never know, you might want to stay with your parents when we get back to Toronto."

Emma smiled, "Jay I want to stay with you, we're forever. I want to live with you for the rest of my life. I want you to hold me every single night of my life from now on, but we're on the same conditions as always. You have to tell me if I'm getting on your nerves so we can take some time to relax, apart."

Jay sighed, "Emma, come on, how many times did we fight since we moved?"

Emma shrugged, "A few times, I guess."

Jay squeezed her hand a little, "And how many times did I come back to our bed in the middle of the night to fix things, because I couldn't sleep without you."

Emma smiled, "Every time."

Jay nodded, "Okay, so then we're clear. I will sleep on the couch until about 2AM, then I can come back?" Emma laughed, and kissed the crock of his neck lightly. She sighed, and settled back into her seat never letting go of Jay's hand. He picked up their hands, and kissed hers lightly in return.

xxx

"Welcome home Emma," Jay said carrying her into their new apartment bridal style. She smiled, with her arms roped around his neck. He set her down carefully. She stepped further into their apartment checking out the furniture, and then the bedroom. Jay smiled, and followed her into the bedroom.

She smiled at Jay, "Thank you for letting stay with you." She laid down on the bed, and propped herself up on her elbows. Jay came over to the bed, and straddled her with a smirk.

"Em, come on, we both know you would have spent almost all of your time here anyways," Jay said leaning down towards her. She lurched forward just a little, and caught his lips on hers. He snaked his arm around her waist, and lowered her down onto the bed. She sighed when his hand found it's way into her shirt. He pushed it up as far as it would go before breaking the kiss. After her shirt was removed, her hands swiftly pulled his shirt over his head before attacking his lips once more.

Their tongues fought for dominance in their mouthes, and she hummed a little in pleasure. His hands found the back of her bra, and removed it quickly. His hand engulfed her breast, and his lips attacked her neck. She moaned quietly, and arched her back to him.

When his tongue found her hardening nipple she arched her back a little more. "Mhmm, Jay," She breathed slowly. He smirked, knowing all the control he had over her. She sighed again, and wrapped her hands in his hair. He soon found her lips again, and began to fumble with her jeans. She lifted her hips slightly, and he tore them off of her.

Jay let a small groan come from the back of his throat when Emma's hands grazed his shaft through his jeans. She fumbled with his pants, slid them down with his boxers as well.

His erection springing free, and he began to remove her last article of clothing. Jay settled between her legs, and she wrapped her legs around his shoulders when he kissed down her abdomen, and hips. She gasped when his tongue first came in contact with her clit. She moaned louder when his first two fingers entered her. Bucking her hips towards him, he thrust his fingers with force. She moaned his name repetitively.

She moaned once more, "Jay, I want you." He shivered at the sounds coming from her mouth. She slowly left open mouthed kisses all the way up her side, and neck before simultaneously pushing into her, and smashing his lips on hers.

Her manicured nails dug into his shoulder blades as he thrusted quickly. He let a low grunt come from his throat many times. The way she clung to him, and moved so well with him pushed him even further. He could tell Emma was close when she gasped even louder than she had been. He road out their orgasms together, her body shaking under his. He rolled off of Emma with a huff.

She snuggled into his chest, and sighed, "Well now we broke in the apartment."

Jay rubbed her back lightly, and sighed, "The bedroom is only the beginning."

Emma reflected on a moment earlier in their relationship, and mocked, "Jay, I know you're being faithful to Em, but your kitchen still smells like sex. Fix it."

Jay burst into a fit of laughter next to Emma. Emma got out of bed grabbing Jay's t-shirt before walking out of the room. Jay watched her shuffle through the box, and grab a large photo album. She sat back down in bed with Jay.

She flipped it open. It was the scrapbook she had made him for their 6 month anniversary. He smiled, and circled his arms around her waist before looking at it with her. The first page had their first picture together, the one of them on the hood of Jay's car when they had first gotten together. She grazed her hand over the photo, and melted into his chest a little more.

He kissed her cheek when she leaned against him, "We had so much fun that day. We had so much fun when we first got together. I was so happy."

Jay glanced at her in slight confusion, "What? After a year being with Jay Hogart isn't so much fun anymore?"

She turned towards him with wide eyes, "No Babe, that's not what I meant. You're amazing, and I love you forever. I always have fun when I'm with you, and I never wanted to be without you. I just meant it was always good with us."

Jay laughed, and kissed her forehead, "Not always good Greenpeace." He continued to mock himself, "Seany was at the ravine last night with Amy, he's totally over you."

Emma turned to Jay with a smirk, "Well that's good, because I'm totally over him too. I'm engaged now, and my fiancee is amazing and loves me so much."

Jay raised an eyebrow at her choice of words, "Well my fiancee looks smoking hot in my clothes, and I wish she would always wear my clothes."

Emma giggled, and pressed her lips to Jay's quickly, "Well my fiancee is just so amazing in bed. It doesn't compare to anything else, ever."

Jay smirked at Emma with a nod, "You know I am. You're not so bad yourself."

Emma ran her fingers over his bare chest, "I love you more than anything, you know that right?"

Jay nodded, and looked her in the eyes seriously, "I know that Babe, you know I feel the exact same way right? Before you, I was the biggest idiot around. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Emma felt tears brimming in her eyes, "I just love you so much, and I really don't want to lose you. I just don't want anything to change because we're back in Toronto."

Jay wiped the tear that escaped off of her cheek, "Hey, hey Babe. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. If I had it my way, I don't think I let you out of my sight ever again, or even out of my grasp. I refuse to let you go."

Emma nodded quickly, and tried to get herself to stop crying. "I know, I'm sorry I'm being such a girl. It's just I don't want you to think I don't appreciate you, because I do."

Jay nodded, "It's okay Em, I know how you feel. Just so we're clear though, I feel the exact same way. Don't you ever forget it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Emma!" Manny exclaimed as she burst into the apartment the following morning. Manny wrapped her arms around her neck, and Emma patted her back. She was standing in the doorway in Jay's t-shirt. Manny had come over so early that she had gotten Emma, and Jay out of bed.

Jay strolled out of the bedroom wearing sweatpants, and no shirt. He nodded towards Manny, "Hey Santos."

Manny smiled, and detached herself from Emma, "Hey Jay, how've you been?"

Jay shrugs, and starts making a pot of coffee. Manny turns back around to Emma, "So how's my best friend now that she's back where she belongs?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "Manny, I was never not where I belonged, I had Jay."

Manny rolled her eyes in turn, "Whatever you sap. I missed you so much, and so did Jack. The poor things cries for you all the time."

Emma nodded, and sat down at the kitchen table, "Yeah I know, he calls me a lot. I'm going to go see him this afternoon."

Manny nods, and Jay butts in, "Hey Santos, you want coffee?"

"Thank you, Jay," Manny says not even turning around. Jay brings over a coffee for both girls, and kisses Emma's head. She smiles, and watches his pad over to the TV.

Emma reaches for her cup, and Manny grabs her hand with a screech, "What the hell is that Emma?"

Jay cringes at Manny's high pitched scream, "Nice to have you back Santos."

Emma smiles, and her cheeks turn pink, "It was my anniversary gift. I'm an engaged woman now."

Jay smiles at Emma's words, and half-listens as he watches TV. Manny looks at the ring with a small smile, "It's really nice Em. I'm happy for you, and Jay you couldn't have made a better choice if you tried."

Jay smiled, "Yeah I know, Emma's too good for me."

Emma sipped her coffee with a smile, and Manny rolled her eyes, "I meant the ring, but you made a good choice with the girl too."

Emma giggled, and Jay shook his head. Manny spoke again, "So guess who I've been seeing?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "Who Manny? I'll try not to care too much, there'll be someone new next week."

Manny sighed, "It's Toby. We've been going strong for 3 weeks now."

Jay intervened, "Wow Santos, great job! Is that a record for you?"

Emma scolded Jay from the table, "Jay, watch it. Manny that's great, but are we talking Toby Isaacs? Like the one we've known our whole lives?"

Manny nodded with a large grin, "He's so sweet to me, and so much fun. Anyways, I just thought I'd keep you in the loop. There's no need to go on about him, you know exactly what he's like. I'm going to go, and let you go see Jack and Spike. They're dying to see you."

Manny got up, and Emma watched her leave out the door with a smile. Emma joined Jay on the couch, "You know you really need to work on being nicer to Manny. I know, I know she isn't your favorite person, but she's my best friend."

Jay looked at Emma with fake annoyance, "Fine, but only for you."

Emma kissed Jay's cheek, "Thank you. I'm going to go get ready to see Mom, and Jack. You going to come?"

Jay nodded, and Emma got off the couch. She went into the bathroom for a shower, and Jay slid in behind her. She giggled when he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed her ear, and pulled her into the shower. After a long shower, both Emma and Jay stepped out with smiles.

Emma skipped off to the bathroom to get dressed. She put on a pair of small jean shorts with a flowing pink chevron shirt. Jay walked into the bedroom, and starts to get dressed. They shuffled out of the apartment, and down to Jay's car. Emma slid into the passenger side.

Jay sighed, and pulled out of the parking lot, "Hey Em, Snake's still in prison right?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah, Mom never said anything about it."

Jay sighed in relief when the pulled up in front of the Nelson house. Emma skipped up to the door, and Jay followed closer behind. Spike opened up the door looking half distracted, but her face lit up when she saw Emma.

"Emma, I'm so glad you came back to visit! We've missed you so much," Spike said with a large grin on her face.

Emma turned back to Jay for a moment, and she smiled, "Actually Mom, we're home to stay."

Spike grinned even more, and waved the couple into the house. Jack was upstairs, but Emma could hear him coming down the stairs. Spike smiled, "Jack, look who it is!"

Jack stood up at the bottom of the stairs, and ran towards Emma, "Emmy! You're home! Are you going to come back downstairs now?"

Emma shook her head, "No Jack, I won't be downstairs, but I'm staying with Jay down the road a little. I promise to come visit all the time, okay?"

Jack nodded, the smile fading a little off his face, but not completely. He hugged Emma, and then resumed playing with his toys in the living room. The three adults sat down in the living room, and Spike spoke, "So Em, you excited to start senior year?"

Emma nodded, and took Jay's hand, "One more year, and then it's off to bigger, and better things."

Spike smiled, "So how was the drive home?"

Emma shrugged, "We traded off driving the whole way here, so it wasn't too bad."

Spike nodded, and turned her attention to Jay. Her face softening, "How are you Jay?"

Jay sighed, knowing she was talking about Kayla. It was to be expected, but he still wished people would stop asking. What happened, happened and there is no way to go back in time and change it. He looked at Spike, "I'm okay, thanks. How are you and Jack doing?"

Spike smiled, "We're doing pretty good actually. It's hard sometimes, but it'll be easier with you around, Em."

Emma smiled, and nodded, "I'm here whenever you guys need me. Jay is too." Emma glanced at Jay a moment, and he just sat there with a small smile on his face.

xxx

"Welcome back everyone," said Mr. Raditch into the microphone on the first day of school. Emma sighed, and slouched into her chair in the gym next to Jay.

He rolled his eyes, "I can't believe he came back to be our principal. He hates my guts."

Emma chuckled, "What teacher doesn't hate your guts?"

Jay looked at her pointedly, "Mr. Ehl didn't mind me."

Emma giggled, and everyone shuffled out of the gym, and back to homeroom. The small class of all knowing seniors walked back into Ms. Kwan's familiar classroom, and took their seats.

Manny came up to Emma with a large grin plastered on her face, "Hey Em, I want you to meet Darcy. She and I became awful good friends when you were gone last year. I think you'll like her."

Darcy smiled at Emma, "I've heard so much about you."

Emma nodded slowly, then glanced back at Jay. He shrugged as if she were harmless but there was something about her that didn't quite seem right. Darcy stuck her hand out to Jay with a smile, "Hi I'm Darcy."

Jay reluctantly shook her hand, she seemed so happy. Too happy for Jay's liking, that's for sure. "Jay Hogart," he replied and turned his attention back to Emma. She sat there glaring at Darcy.

The bell rang, and Emma turned to Jay. She smiled, and kissed him fully before pulling back, "I'll see you in math."

Jay nodded, and left for shop. He wasn't quite sure what to think of what just happened back in homeroom. Emma was acting strange around Darcy, but he had yet to figure out why. Emma walked quickly to science, and took a seat somewhere in the middle.

Manny sat down in front of Emma, right next to Darcy. Emma groaned internally. It wasn't that she had thought Manny had made no friends in Emma's absence, she just figured that when she got back Manny would be by her side.

Emma pulled out her new notebook as class started she was more than ready to graduate. As class went on Emma got to thinking, why did Darcy have to be the bad guy? They could all be friends right? Emma, Jay, Manny, Toby, JT, Liberty, Darcy, and she was sure Darcy must have a boyfriend. She's cute enough.

The bell rang, and Emma joined Manny and Darcy. "Hey guys," Emma said with a large smile.

Manny smiled back, but Darcy just kind of looked down. "Hey Em," Manny replied.

Emma sighed, "So did you guys want to lunch today or something?"

Darcy gave a curt smile, and Manny looked at Emma apologetically, "Sorry Em, we have plans already."

Emma nodded in understanding, and padded off to math. She sat down next to Jay with a huff. He placed a hand gently on her back, and ran circles, "What's wrong Em?"

Emma dropped her head down on her desk, and didn't say a word to Jay. He leaned forward just a little and repeated himself, "What's wrong Em?"

She turned her head to look at him with sad eyes, "Manny totally replaced me, and I thought we could all be friends but I guess not."

Jay continued to run circles with his hand on her back, "Em, I'm sure that's not the case. Tell me what happened from start to finish."

Emma proceeded to explain what happened after science, and Jay sighed with a small smile, "Em, I'm sure they have something important to do at lunch today. It's nothing I'm sure that Manny would want to have lunch with you if she could. She's still your best friend."

Emma sighed, "I thought this would be our fresh start to our fresh start but it's not going how I thought it would at all. Nothing ever does."

Jay smirked, "It's life Em, nothing goes how you think it's going to. I never thought I'd even make it to senior year, let alone be sharing it with you."

Emma sighed, "Next thing I know, you'll be waltzing down the halls with Darcy too. I saw the way she looked at you this morning."

Jay nodded, that was why she was acting weird around Darcy this morning. "Look Em, I could meet every girl in this world, and still want to be with you. They could all be hanging off of me naked, and I'd still be looking at you."

Emma raised her head to meet Jay's in a chaste kiss. She smiled, and settled back into her seat when Mr. Armstrong walked in. Jay kept a hand on her back the whole class, and Emma was quietly thankful for him. She was always thankful for Jay, but right now she was even more.

Emma was never one to feel insecure especially when it came to Manny. There was something about Darcy that made her feel so insecure. Even when it came to Jay, the girl pushed her buttons. Emma wanted so badly to have a perfect senior year, but it didn't look like that was about to happen. She was slow lost in thought that everything Mr. Armstrong was saying was irrelevant to her right now.

Jay leaned over subtly, "Em, I know you're upset right now, but you should probably pay attention."

Emma shrugged, she just didn't want to right now. I was like Darcy had changed everything. Emma sighed, and tried her best to take good notes on sequences and series in class but she still wasn't herself.

The bell rang, and everyone shuffled out into the hallways. Emma linked her hand with Jay's as they walked to her locker. Both of them shoved their stuff inside her locker, and Emma closed the door. She noticed Darcy prancing down the hall with a smile on her face. Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes, and grabbed Jay's shirt.

Emma plastered her lips onto Jay's and he immediately responded. She snaked her arms around his neck, and pressed herself into him. He rested his hands on her hips, and took a small step so she was against the lockers. He had no idea where this came from, but he wasn't about to stop her.

Finally, in need of air Emma pulled her lips away from Jay's with a small smile. Out of the corner of her eye should could see a few people looking but she wasn't really in the mood to care. Jay smirked, "What was that for?"

Emma ran her hand through his hair, and kept him close, "I love you."

Jay kissed her forehead affectionately, "I love you too."

She smiled, and took his hand. They began to walk down the halls into the cafeteria. Emma sighed, and rested her head on Jay's shoulder. They sat down with their lunch not much later, and Jay looked up at Emma, "What's going on inside that pretty little head of yours?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't know, I just feel like my senior year is so different than how I ever would have thought."

Jay took her hand, "Good different, or bad different?"

Emma shrugged again, "Somethings are better than I ever could have imagined, like having you by my side every step of the way. Then somethings are not as great, like Manny and I. I feel like she's slipping away from me."

Jay squeezed her hand, "There isn't much I can do about the latter, but about the first portion you know that's never going to change. It's me, and you forever Em."

Emma smiled lovingly at Jay, "You're too good to me. I spend all my time sulking, and you just sit there, and make it all better no matter what I do."

Jay smirked, "I'd do anything for you, and don't forget that. You were there for me too though. Especially when I needed you the most."

Emma nodded as if what he were saying was obvious, "Of course I was."

Jay smirked again, "It goes both ways Em. I'm never going anywhere."

Emma smiled, and started eating her lunch. She wasn't even sure what to say to Jay anymore. He always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. She snuck covert glances at Jay for the rest of lunch. She couldn't help, but smile when she did. He always made her stomach flip, and her heart race. It was amazing how long they had been together, and yet they still had that spark. She never wanted to let that go.

The bell rang to signify the end of lunch, and Jay wrapped an arm around her and they went to class. Mr. Perino's history class was always the worst. He gave everyone a seating arrangement, and it couldn't have been much worse.

Emma sighed, of course Perino wanted her to sit with Sean Cameron. Out of everyone in the room, that was who Emma got to sit next to. She sighed at Jay, and he kissed the top of her head. Jay was all the way across the room sitting with Alex Nunez.

Perino just loved history so much that when he put everyone in a seating arrangement that it had to remind them of their own personal history as well. Emma slid into her seat without even glancing at Sean.

"Well, well Emma Nelson, long time no see," Sean said with a smirk similar to Jay's but not nearly as sexily. Jay was always what Sean could never have been.


	6. Chapter 6

"Sean, I know that I don't have a choice to sit here, but I do have the choice to ignore you which is exactly my plan," Emma said flatly. Sean scoffed, and turned away from her.

After the day she had had she only wanted to go home, and lay in bed with Jay. 2 more hours, and her first day was over. It was awful to think that even though this was supposed to be an exciting day that everyone enjoyed Emma only wanted out of there as soon as that bell rang.

Mr. Perino leaned on the edge of his desk with his arms crossed, "So since this is world issues, and you are all part of the world let's hear about you. Tell me something going on with you."

Emma rolled her eyes, why did teachers do these things to students, it was irrelevant not to mention stupid. Darcy was the first to raise her hand, "Well I just got a job at the Dot."

Emma groaned internally, guess she couldn't go there anymore. Mr. Perino nodded his head, "Good example Darcy. Each person's life pertains to the things going on in this world. By having a job Darcy is contributing economically."

Emma shot her hand up in the air, "I just recently leased a new apartment."

Mr Perino nodded once more, "You too are contributing to the way society works."

Emma smirked in victory. It wasn't that she was such a snob that every teacher had to adore her. It was a simple fact of beating Darcy, or at the very least leveling out the playing field.

Emma spent the rest of class figuring out ways to beat Darcy out of the way. Task 1 was to have a party, but not invite Darcy. Emma thought it was a good place to start, and if Manny asked why it would be a simple reply. Emma simply forgot to add her to the list because she had only talked to her the once.

It was unlike Emma to be so devious, but at the same time there was a lot at risk. She was already taking Manny away, and she had a clear interest in Jay. That was the one thing Emma would never stand for losing, Jay.

The bell rang before she knew it, and she joined Jay in the hall. He smiled at her lovingly, and she kissed him chastely on the lips. He draped a shoulder around her arms, and they walked off towards Media Immersion lab.

Emma sat towards the back, next to Jay. This room gave her an uneasy feeling because of all the memories. Jay took notice of Emma's tense body. He pulled her chair closer to his, and wrapped an arm around her waist.

She melted into his side with a small smile. He kissed her temple sweetly, "Em, everything's fine. I would never let anyone hurt you ever again."

She sighed half in relief, and half in adoration, "I love you so much."

He smiled, "I love you that much more Em."

The teacher walked into the room. She was petit, and looked like she didn't take any bullshit. Jay thought maybe he should let go of Emma, but she had a fistful of his shirt in her hand. He ran his hand up, and down her arm. They were in the back of the room so no one was really staring.

"For those of you who don't know, I am Ms Oh. I am the media immersion teacher, and none of you may think this class does much good, but I can tell you that it does. It will also be a lot of work," The teacher said in a serious tone.

The class as a whole groaned. Ms Oh picked up a clipboard, "Alright let's see is there anyone I don't know. Jayson Hogart, where are you?"

Jay finally detached himself from Emma, and sat up straighter, "I'm right here."

She nodded with a small smile, "Welcome to Degrassi Jayson."

He chuckled, "I'm not new, I was just away last year. It's Jay, by the way."

Ms Oh nodded, "And Emma Nelson, I've heard of you. Wonderful student I hear from many other teachers."

Emma cheeks turned a little pink, and she nodded slightly. Ms Oh offered a larger smile, and then proceeded to begin class. Emma leaned over to Jay, "Well that was awkward."

Jay laughed, "At least she didn't hear anything about me from the teachers."

Emma giggled, and they all logged onto their computers. Ms. Oh took no time giving them their first assignment, and they all got to work. Jay opened up his instant messenger program.

BadBoyHogart: Hey Babe, are you okay? You seem tense.

GreenpeaceNelson: I am tense. I hate this classroom, and I hate Darcy.

BadBoyHogart: That doesn't sound like my Em.

GreenpeaceNelson: I just don't want her to take Manny, or anyone else away from me.

BadBoyHogart: As soon as we're done here we can go home. I'll always be here to make you feel better.

Greenpeace Nelson: Thanks Jay, I love you xx

BadBoyHogart: I love you more xx

And with that, the bell rang out loudly. Emma logged off quickly, and Jay followed her out the door. She couldn't be in more of a rush to get home. She jumped into the passenger seat of his orange civic, and he wasn't far behind.

She sighed when they finally pulled away from Degrassi, "Thank you for everything Jay. I don't know what I'd do without you, honestly."

Jay chuckled, "You'd be just fine. You're Emma Nelson, you're the strongest person I know."

She glanced down at her ring a moment, "I won't be Emma Nelson forever. I can't wait to Emma Hogart someday."

Jay smirked, and his heart melted at the sound of those words coming from her mouth, "I never thought you'd be the kind of girl to change your name for someone."

Emma looked at Jay with a loving smile, "That was before I met you, and fell in love."

Jay's smirk grew into a grin, and he couldn't even stop himself. He pulled into the parking lot in front of the apartment complex. Emma turned towards him before getting out of the car, and kissed him lovingly. He pulled her a little closer, and kissed a little deeper moving his tongue into her mouth.

She moaned softly when his tongue found hers. He pulled back, and she sighed with a smile. He smirked, "Should we go inside?"

She smirked along with him knowing where this was going. She jumped out of the car, and he met her around front. Jay picked her up, and threw Emma over his back before running up to their apartment. She giggled the whole way there.

Jay set her down softly on the kitchen counter with a grin. She grabbed him by his shirt, and pulled him closer. He plastered his lips onto hers with a grin. She immediately shrugged off her jacket, and he did the same.

His hands went to her waist, and began to move up inside her shirt. Shivers went down her spine with the feeling of his calloused hands roaming her toned stomach. She broke away from his lips when he lifted her shirt over her head. Before he could get back to her lips, she removed his shirt as well.

She moaned softly when his lips found her chest, and he worked to remove her bra. She gasped when Jay's lips immediately found her hardening nipple. A moan came from the back of his throat when her delicate fingers fumbled with his belt, and pushed his pants away.

Emma brought herself to the edge of the counter, and pushed away Jay's boxers. His erection sprung free, and she took a firm hold of it with her hand. He let out another groan, and pushed himself inside of her.

She nestled her face into the crock of his neck, and placed open mouthed kissed up his neck when he began to move. She whimpered when his hands left her chest, but she gasped when they found her clit.

Jay began to thrust faster, and soon enough her walls clenched around him, and that was all he need. He exploded inside of her, and she cried out while he road out their orgasms. Emma collapsed into him with a loud sigh, and he carefully carried her to their bedroom.

She snuggled into his side, and let her fingers dance over his chest. He kissed her blonde tresses, and smiled, "I love you Em."

She stopped for a moment, and looked up at him seriously, "I love you too. I know I say that a lot, but I need you to know how much I mean it, like really mean it."

He pulled her a little closer, "Of course I know how much you mean it. I can see it in your eyes every time you say it."

She smiled, and leaned her forehead against his, "I see the same thing in your eyes every time you look at me."

Jay kissed her nose, "That's because I get to spend the rest of my life with the most gorgeous woman in the universe."

Emma shuddered at his words. All the things that had made her angry, or annoyed, or upset in all of her life suddenly faded away with the rest of the world when those words came out of his mouth. She smiled, "Say it again."

He moved so that he was above her, and he began leaving soft kisses all over her face, "You. Are. The. Most. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Lovable. Hot. Sexy. Wonderful. Woman. Ever."

She captured his lips on hers, and let her tongue snake into his mouth. She sighed when he pulled back, and snuggled in next to her again. She whispered so softly that he barely heard it, "You are too good for me sometimes."

He wanted to argue that point, but also didn't want to ruin the time they were having together. He cherished the way he could make her feel better no matter what. He kissed her forehead in reply, but he would never really believe that he was ever too good for Emma Nelson. If anything she was way too good for him.

Emma interlaced her fingers with Jay's, "Are you hungry? You took all the energy out of me."

He chuckled, "Let's get you some food." He picked her up, and set her on the floor next to their bed. He slipped his t-shirt over her head, and he put on his own boxers. She smiled, and jumped on his back.

He held on tight to avoid letting her fall. He set her down on the counter where she had sat not so long ago. He pulled out a small frying pan with some bread, cheese, and butter.

She clasped her hands together in joy, "Grilled cheese by Jay. There is no better after sex meal."

Jay chuckled, and kissed her lips lightly before placing the sandwich in the pan. She waited patiently watching a shirtless Jay walk around the kitchen. It was still beyond her how they had ever gotten this far.

Jay turned back around, and offered her a sandwich. She took it gladly, and didn't spare a moment in beginning to eat it. Jay laughed while starting another sandwich, "You really were hungry."

Emma smirked, "I told you. You wore me out."

Jay smirked, and stood in between her legs up against the counter. She fed him a bite of her sandwich. He smiled, "Does that mean you're not up for round two?"

She finished her sandwich, "Do you really need to ask me that?"

Jay wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned forward slowly biting her lip, and Jay watched carefully. He lurched forward at the last second, and captured his lips on hers. She arched her back towards him, and moaned softly.

He ran his fingers through her hair, and then down her back and into his shirt that she wore. He paused momentarily to remove the shirt, and then kissed her again. Emma wrapped her legs securely around his waist, and he carried her off to the bedroom.

She smirked when he dropped her down onto the bed, and began placing kisses all over her torso. She whimpered while arching her back towards him. He began traveling lower and lower. The fire in her belly grew, and when he finally dove his tongue into her center she moaned loudly.

He smirked, and let his tongue play around within her. He was hitting all the right spots, and Emma was quivering in pleasure. It didn't take long until her heaving body was recovering from her climax.

Finally returning to reality she sniffed, "Jay what's that smell?"

He shot his head up, "Is that smoke in the hallway?"

Emma threw on a t-shirt, and some sweat pants. Jay did the same, and they barreled out into the hallway. Jay saw the fire coming from the kitchen. It was too large to stop now. He cursed himself for not being more careful.


	7. Chapter 7

Emma stood in the doorway seeing the spoke pouring through the apartment, "Jay what happened?"

Jay rushed back into the bedroom, and closed the door. He took a deep breath, "I left the stove on when we came back in. It's all my fault. Go, now out the fire escape, I'm right behind you."

Emma shot out the escape, and ran down the stairs making sure Jay was behind her. They stood outside, and Emma wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm Jay paced back and forth, "I'm so sorry Em, I should have been more careful."

Emma stopped him, and looked him in the eye, "Jay, it's not your fault. The landlord told you the smoke alarm worked."

Soon enough the whole building as shuffling out fire escapes, and doors. The fire department showed up, and the landlord wandered over to Jay, and Emma. He looked at them sternly, "What happened?"

Jay sighed, "I left the stove on, but the fire alarm didn't go off. I'm sorry."

The landlord scoffed, and walked away. Jay turned back around with a stone hard look on his face. Emma rubbed her hands up and down Jay's arms trying to get him to calm down. "Jay this isn't your fault."

Jay looked down at his fiancee, "Em, what if you or someone else had gotten hurt?"

Emma smiled just a little knowing he cared about her, "Jay, everyone is fine. Everything is okay. We'll be okay."

One of the firemen walked slowly towards the couple. Emma saw him from the corner of her eye, and nodded towards him. Jay turned around, "Hi Officer."

The man nodded, "I'm just here to tell you that you may enter to get anything you need. It's pretty bad in there though."

Emma nodded, "Come on Babe."

Jay followed her in assuming there wasn't going to be much to get. He was correct; most of the apartment was blackened or burned. Emma waked straight back to the bedroom, and moved what used to be there bed to pick up a small steel box.

Emma opened it careful, and sighed. Everything inside was perfect. She smiled, and showed Jay, "I kept this box putting in all the things that were most special to me."

Jay looked through the box slowly. There were many photographs of the couple, some of Emma and her family, and some of Emma's other friends. Underneath there were all the cards they had given one another, and a few small memories. He smiled, "You are one smart cookie Babe."

Emma smirked, "I was about ready to trade in for a bigger box, and I think i just might. I'm glad I had it to begin with, or else we'd have nothing."

Jay wrapped his arm around her, "You'll always have me." Emma kissed him lightly, and they padded out of they're burnt apartment quickly. The arrived downstairs in the mostly kept lobby.

"Insurance will cover the damages, but it's going to be a few months. I'm sorry, but you'll have to find somewhere to stay for the time being," the landlord announced.

Emma sighed, "Let's go to Mom's house. We'll explain everything tomorrow. We can just crash in my old room."

Jay nodded, and walked out to his civic. She watched him lift the hood, and search for a moment. He pulled out a key, and smirked "I knew this would come on handy someday."

Emma repeated his words from earlier, "You are one smart cookie Boo."

He chuckled and they got into the car, and drove to Emma's mother's house. It was clear that Spike, and Jack were already asleep for the night so Emma snuck quietly upstairs, and woke her mother gently.

"Hey Em, what's wrong?" Spike said sounding sleepy.

Emma sighed, "Jay and I need to stay for a while, we can go through what happened tomorrow. We'll be in my bedroom in the basement. I just didn't want to scare you."

Spike looked concerned, but nodded. Emma kissed her mother's forehead lightly, and went back downstairs. Jay was waiting in the living room; Emma took his hand pulling him downstairs to her old bed.

They crawled in quietly, and Emma snuggled up to Jay as they fell asleep. It wasn't long, and Emma could see through her closed lids that the sunshine was pouring through the small window across the room. She groaned then sat up in bed.

Jay stirred next to her, and rubbed his eyes as he woke up, "Morning Babe."

Emma smiled, "We should technically be in school right now."

Jay smirked, "I think Raditch will understand when we tell him that our apartment burned down last night."

Emma nodded, "I didn't even tell my mom why last night. We have to talk to her at some point today because we don't have anywhere's else to stay nor do we have anything to our names."

Jay rubbed her back gently, "It's alright Em, we'll figure everything out."

Emma sighed, "You always say that Jay, but how do you really know? We have nothing. Everything we owned is burned down."

Jay wrapped his strong arms around her waist firmly, "We have each other, and I promise to be there for you for the rest of time."

Emma melted into his embrace, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do with myself now."

Jay squeezed a little, and kissed the top of her head softly. Almost rocking her back and forth lightly to calm her down he held her. She latched onto his arms that went around her waist begging him silently not to let go. She drifted into thought, and sighed unknowingly.

Jay furrowed his brows a moment, "What's going on up there Em?"

Emma half shrugged, "I don't know, there is just always something going on with us. It was Snake, then it was Kayla, and now it's the fire."

Jay looked at her funny, "Em, those aren't all bad things. Kayla is my daughter and no matter what she was one of the best things to happen to me."

She cringed realizing what she had said. It was true it was a stressful time for everyone, but she was also a blessing, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Kayla was a blessing and we both know that."

Jay leaned back in bed pulling Emma down with him, "I know I just don't think I'm ready to really remember everything that happened."

Emma nodded as she laid her head on his chest, "I know Babe, I'm sorry. It's just all so stressful."

Jay sighed, and kissed her head lightly, "It's okay, everything will turn out fine. Someday we'll be long gone from high school, you'll be Mrs. Hogart. I'll run my very own shop, and you can climb the environmental ladder. Someday there will be little Hogart's running around our feet."

Emma envisioned their life together, and a smiled became plastered to her face. She couldn't help but giggle a little of everything that would turn out so nicely for them. "We'll have it all, and it will be perfect."

Jay smiled, "I love you Emma Nelson." She repeated his words, and smiled.

They heard the door open at the top of the stairs, and Spike called down, "Breakfast if you want it."

Emma crawled out of bed dragging Jay behind her. They sat down at the table with Jack, and Spike. Spike set her fork down gently, and looked at the teens, "Alright, what happened?"

Emma repeated her motions, "There was a fire in our apartment last night. It was pretty bad, but everyone is fine. We don't have anywhere to go, and all of our stuff is ruined. It was late last night so we came here. If you'll have us then we'd like to stay for a while until things at the apartment are fixed."

Spike nodded quickly, "Of course you can both stay here Em. I'm sorry about the fire, do they know the cause?"

Jay nodded this time, "Yeah it was mostly my fault, I left the stove on then walked away. The landlord said when we moved in that the fire alarm worked, but it didn't. Emma was the first to smell it, but by then the whole kitchen was in flames."

Spike gasped, "Oh my goodness that's awful. Well at least everyone's okay. Did you want me to call Principal Raditch to let him know?"

Emma nodded, "That would help. Thanks Mom, it's nice being here too."

Spike smiled at her daughter, and they all resumed eating breakfast. Jack was the first to get up from the table, and waddle over to his toys in the living room a few feet away. Emma watched as he played quietly with himself. It was nice to see her mom, and Jack again after so long. Not just to visit to actually eat meals and be a part of this home again.

Jay stood up next taking all the empty plates to the sink. Emma smiled, as he ran the water to do the dishes. Spike smiled appreciating the gesture, and went upstairs to get ready for her day. Emma took the dry towel near by, and dried the dishes that Jay washed.

"What's going on inside your head Jay?" Emma asked quietly.

He shrugged, "The fire, it was my fault."

She sighed, "No it isn't. We got carried away, and it was an accident."

Jay looked at her sadly, "Emma what if I had lost you?"

Emma pulled him away from the dishes to really look at her, "But you didn't Jay. I am right here by your side where I am meant to be. So stop worrying about what could have happened, and be thankful that I am here with you."

Jay smiled softly, "I'm thankful for that everyday of my life."

Emma kissed him very lightly, and they turned back to the sink full of dishes. Jay still looked upset, but Emma didn't know what to do. Jay was only ever this upset about Kayla, and Emma still wasn't sure what she had done to make him feel any better in that situation.

Jay drained the water, and she took his hand dragging him downstairs. He sat down on the bed, and she straddled him. He looked at her sadly once more. She sighed dropping her shoulders, "What can I do to make it better? Everything is okay. Remember? You said it so many times."

His look didn't change, and she leaned down to press her lips to him softly. She swept her tongue across his bottom lip begging to be closer to him. He obliged, and she deepened the kiss. Finally his strong arms wrapped around her petite figure, and she pressed her chest into his.

He broke away, and nestled his face into her neck. He began to sob, and she ran her hands through his hair for as long as he needed her to. He didn't stop sobbing for minutes, but when he finally did she looked him in the eyes sadly. Gently she took her small fingers wiping the tears from his face.

He looked away from her ashamed, and she pushed his face back towards hers. She kissed him affectionately this time, and he responded full force. Her tongue danced with his fiercely, and he held her a little tighter. She moaned when his hands traveled up her spine softly.

He removed his mouth from hers, and began laying kisses all along her neck and chest. She moaned, and gripped at the hair in the nape of his neck. He stopped momentarily, and kissed her mouth with such a force it knocked all the air out of her lungs. He broke away, and Emma panted in his lap.

She looked at him lovingly, "I'm right here, and I will be here for whatever you need. I love you Jayson Hogart."

Jay squeezed her waist, "I love you more Emma Nelson-someday-Hogart." Emma smiled thinking of the day she would sign her name Emma Hogart. Just the thought of it made her grin idiotically. She dug her head into his neck, and hugged him tightly silently begging him to never let go of her again.


	8. Chapter 8

"Jay come on, we have to get up for school," Emma pulled at him after getting out of the shower the following morning. He groaned before rolling over, and ignoring her. Emma tossed her head back in frustration.

"Jayson Michael Hogart if you do not get your ass out of bed right now then you will sleep on the couch tonight," Emma disciplined sternly.

Jay looked up at her in annoyance, "Who are you my mother?"

Emma tried her best not to smile when he looked at her with sleepy eyes, and shaggy hair, "If I were your mother, then wouldn't be staring at my chest right now like I know you are."

Jay rolled his eyes at her, and got out of bed. He kissed the top of her head gingerly, and walked into the bathroom. Emma smiled, and watched him walk away. She finished getting dressed, and went upstairs for breakfast.

Not much later Jay came up the stairs, and grabbed the cup of coffee waiting for him. He kissed Emma fully this time, and she smiled at him. "Thanks Em, I'm sorry I was grumpy this morning."

Emma shrugged, "It's okay. As long as you're not grumpy anymore." He laughed, and they grabbed their school things before leaving the house. Jay fell into a silence as her drove, and Emma didn't think so much of it as he must have been tired. They pulled into an empty spot in the student parking lot, and went into school.

Jay still hadn't spoken, and Emma had finally started to question it. She took his hand, and leaned into him a little as they walked, "Is everything okay?"

Jay jumped, and seemed to come out of his own thoughts, "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded, and they all sat down in homeroom.

Manny came running over with Darcy, "Hey Em, I heard what happened. Are you guys okay? It's really awful what happened."

Darcy stood by looking concerned, and Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes at the girl. Emma shrugged, "Everything is fine Manny. You would have known had you picked up your phone."

Manny looked kind of nervous, "Sorry Em, I was with Darcy. She was going through some personal stuff."

Darcy nodded, "Yeah Emma, I'm so sorry to have completely taken Manny away for the night."

Emma groaned out loud, and stomped out of the classroom. Manny stood there in shock, and Darcy seemed to be suppressing a few giggles. Jay stood up from his seat, and shot Darcy a harsh glare. He exited the classroom going after Emma down the hallway.

Jay caught up with Emma, and grabbed her arm, "Em slow down. Are you still jealous of her? She's got nothing on you."

Emma turned around seemingly angry with Jay, "Jealous? Is that what you think it is? Jealousy? You are so out of line right now."

Jay raised his hands in surrender, "Woah Emma what's with the freak out! I didn't do anything."

Emma threw her hands up in frustration, "You didn't do anything? No of course you didn't. You only tortured me for months on end. Then took me across the country to be a teen mom to a child that wasn't mine only to have her die. Then you bring me back, and light our apartment on fire."

Jay's jaw dropped in shock. Never had Emma even come close to having an out burst this drastic. They things that had just come out of her mouth had shocked Jay. He was utterly speechless. The anger suddenly rose up inside of him, "Emma, do you hear yourself? What about all the good things I've done for you? Saved you from an abusive son of a bitch father, given you a home multiple times, and loved you through everything."

Emma clasped a hand over her mouth realizing what she had said, "Oh my god Jay. I'm so sorry, I just exploded. I didn't mean those things. I promise. Jay, I love you."

Jay clenched his fists in complete anger, and stalked away from Emma. He walked right out the front doors of Degrassi, and got in his car before speeding away. Emma collapsed on the steps in front of the school.

She heard the front door open again, but didn't bother to look up at the person coming out. She scowled when she saw Manny take a seat beside her. Manny placed a hand on Emma's back in comfort. She stood up, and shrugged it off.

Manny stood up as well, and spoke "Emma, what is with you today?"

Emma rolled her eyes, and threw up her hands, "I'm losing my best friend to some new slut that showed up when I was gone. I got frustrated and blew up at my fiancee who I'm pretty sure is at home packing up to leave me at the moment."

Manny backed away from Emma, "Alright then. I'm just going to give you a while to cool off. Come talk to me when you've calmed down."

Emma stomped away in continued frustration. She was half angry with Manny for abandoning her in her time of need, and half angry with herself for snapping at Jay. She ran all the way home just in time to watch Jay put his last bag in the car.

She ran up to him, and grabbed his arm, "Jay please can we talk about this? I'm sorry about what I said. I've just been trying to keep it together for so long to help be there for you, I snapped."

Jay looked at her with hurt in his eyes, "Emma do you even remember all the things you said back there at school? Were you listening to yourself?"

Emma looked down in complete shame, "Jay I'm sorry. I know what I said hurt you, and I can't apologize enough for what I said to you. I just need you to stay. I can't do this without you."

Jay didn't immediately leave, but his expression didn't change, "Can't do what Emma?"

Emma sighed, and looked down at her shoes in shame before glancing up at him, "Live. I can't live without you Jay, please don't leave me."

Jay rolled his eyes, "Emma you have no idea how much you hurt me. I don't think you get it. I was there for you for so long, and then the one time I need you to be there for me you can't do it."

"Jay I can do it. I'll be there for whatever you need. I can do it, but you have to stick around long enough for me to prove it," Emma cried a few tears slipping out this time.

Jay sighed, "What I need right now is space Emma. That's what I need."

Emma nodded, and back away from the side of his car. She backed up towards the house slowly, and watched him get into the car before pulling away from her mother's house. That was it he really had left.

Emma ran into the house numb from the feeling of watching Jay drive away without her. She had no idea was space meant to him in this situation. Where was he going? Would he ever let her back into his life again?

She walked down the steps slowly her mind running a mile a minute with questions. She saw the emptiness of her room without Jay's things. She sighed, and walked over to her bed a few tears escaping. She didn't bother to wipe them away as she moved to her bed. There was a letter sitting on the bed. She opened it slowly, and wiped away her tears to read it. It was from Jay.

_Dear Emma,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be straight with you, and say this to your face. It would have hurt too much to see you cry. Don't cry because I'm gone. I was never good enough for you anyways. I guess that's what it really comes down to. I was never good enough to spend the rest of my life with someone as great as you._

_You stood there in that hallway this morning, and reinforced everything that has been going through my head lately. Ever since the fire I've been going over everything that has happened since I met you. I've turned your life upside down. I had to leave you before you left me._

_Maybe I'll come back some day, but don't wait around for me. I'll still be around. I'm not leaving Degrassi because of this I just can't be with you. You need to realize that I'm not good enough for you. This morning you snapped at me, and you hurt me a lot. I'll admit it. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't turn your life to hell. Don't hate me for it. Someday you'll thank me for doing what I did._

_I love you. Don't ever forget that. I'm doing this because I love you so much. I can't even imagine my life without you, but I have to try so that you can be happy. I mean really happy. Clearly after this morning you're not really happy. I wish I could make you as happy as you've made me. Please understand why I'm doing this for you._

_Know that I'll be safe. I'm going to go find a new apartment. I'll keep paying rent on our apartment together though. I know you have your mom's place, but if you need somewhere to go it should be ready in about a week. The landlord called. I'll pay the rent, and you can go stay there. I hope you're happy in whatever you do._

_I'll always love you, _

_Jay _

Emma read the letter over a few times. It was difficult to read through the tears. When she finally did read the whole thing over she scrambled for her phone. She dialed Jay's number as fast a she could. She waited at everything ring for him to pick up the phone. She sighed when the dial tone went, but there was something at least. She heard those 5 seconds before the beep of his voice.

There was nothing she could really do. It was something she had to accept now. It all sank in, and Emma fell back onto the bed in tears. They didn't stop in what seemed like forever. She heard the front door open, and her first thought was Jay. What if he had realized what a mistake he had made?

She bolted up the stairs, and through the kitchen. She reached the door, and was suddenly let down. It was only Spike and Jack. She sighed, and flopped onto the couch. Jack immediately went to his bedroom to play with his toys. Spike took a seat with Emma who had a tear stained face.

She sighed, "What's the matter Emma?"

Emma broke down again, "Jay left."

Spike looked in complete, and utter shock, "What? What happened Em? You guys were so happy."

Emma nodded, "I was so happy with him. No one could ever replace him. We had an argument this morning, and it made him think that I wasn't happy. He left, but he wrote me a letter explaining it all. I just don't know what to do."

Spike smiled, "Oh honey it's okay. Here's my cell phone. Call him. He won't recognize my number. Don't say I never gave you anything."

Emma smiled, and gave her mother a small side hug. Spike skipped up the stairs to go see Jack, and give Emma her privacy. She dialed Jay's number and waited patiently for him to pick up.

She gasped when he finally did, "Hello?"

She snapped up from her seat subconsciously, "Don't hang up. I read you're letter. I need you to understand that I am happier with you than I am with anyone else. Please just come home."

"Em, stop. I'm doing this for you," Jay said trying not to let his voice crack when he heard her sob.

"Jay the only thing you're doing for me right now is killing me. Please come home," Emma sobbed into the phone once more.

Jay sighed loudly, and ran a hand through his hair seriously considering running home into her arms, but he couldn't. All that had happened this morning had shown him how unhappy she really was whether she would admit it or not. "Goodbye Em."


	9. Chapter 9

Emma hung up the phone from what had been the most devastating conversation of her life. He really wasn't going to come home. She sat there slumped on the couch until it hit her. He wouldn't be able to find a place to live in less than a day. There was a chance he'd be at their apartment. Sure it had burned down, but they had repaired it to the point that he would stay there tonight.

She raced for her purse, and grabbed her apartment key. She bolted out the door without a word to Spike. Since Jay had taken his car she had no choice but to run. She bolted as fast as she could and didn't even stop long enough to find his car in the parking lot. She dashed up the stairs, and through the front door. She sighed loudly when she saw his shoes near the door, and his keys on the unfinished counters.

She heard him coming from the bedroom down the hall calling, "Hello?"

She stood there crying again, and didn't move her feet. As much as she willed herself to move towards him she wouldn't. He made this decision, and it had to be his to come back though she would do anything to make that possible. He stopped in his tracks about 10 feet back from where she was standing. He wasn't sure what to say anymore. She was really going all the way for him right now.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment before speaking to him, "Jay I know what you said in your letter and what you said on the phone, but I can't just give up on us like that. I don't care what you say I will stand in front of you for as long as it takes."

Jay stood there still shocked, "Emma this is what's best for you. You have to let it go. You're too good for me."

Emma screamed at him, "YOU'RE WRONG. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME, BUT I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME. WHAT'S BEST FOR ME IS TO BE WITH YOU."

Jay's hands rose slightly, "Emma calm down okay, you have to understand why I am doing this. You aren't really happy with me. It was clear this morning."

Emma stepped towards him pointing at the engagement ring she still wore, "Do you know what this is? This is the source of all of my happiness for the past year. Do you understand what this means to me? What you mean to me?"

Jay stayed silent this time. Emma took a deep breath wiping some tears from her cheeks, "That ring that you gave me this summer means more to me than the air in my lungs, or the ground that I walk on or the world I live in. I need you Jay. I can't tell myself I don't. It will never be true."

Jay was trying for more than he was worth not to break down in front of her right now, "Emma I'm trying to do what's best for you. I can't say that enough. Nothing good has come from me being with you."

"Nothing?! How many times did you save me and my family from Snake?! Who got me through all those nightmares, and kept me away from him that entire summer? Who took me across the country, because I claimed I needed a fresh start? Who showed me that never in a million years would I want anyone else to father my children someday? Who brought me back home because I missed my little brother and my mom?" Emma said her voice cracking periodically.

Jay's tears were falling freely down his cheeks now, and he was just about to the point of yanking her into his arms for all he was worth. She stood there crying full blown now. She couldn't even compose words anymore, only sobs. It was difficult to even predict what she might have been saying.

Emma crashed to the floor sobbing and heaving beyond sadness. She was truly broken. She wasn't even sure how many speeches she had made to convince Jay to come back at this point. It was difficult to remember as they all ended in uncontrollable sobbing.

Jay watched her fall to the floor, and for moments he didn't do anything. He watched her fall apart in front of him. His heart was smashed into a million pieces, and every time he heard her cry out his heart shattered all over it again.

It was over, and she had won the battle. He wasn't going to do this to her any longer. He had been here in their half ruined apartment sobbing all night long. He had clearly been just as upset as she had been, and he couldn't do it anymore.

He leaned down slightly, and reached for her waist lifting her up slowly. As soon as she realized what he was doing she latched her arms so tightly around his neck that neither of them were going anywhere. She sobbed into his neck kissing it whenever she could. He rubbed up and down her back with soothing words.

"Em, look at me. It's all over now. I can't do this to you anymore. I'll come home as long as you'll let me," Jay whispered one arm wrapped firmly around her waist, and one caressing her hair.

She loosened her grip on him slightly looking him in the eyes, "Don't ever do that to me again. I can't do it ever again. I fell apart without you, and I think I'd actually die next time."

Jay cupped her face wiping away the tears she had shed, "I don't think I could ever see you that upset ever again. It's way too hard to even think of it."

Emma smiled for the first time today, "I love you Jayson Hogart. Don't ever let me go again."

Jay smirked, "I love you more than you'll ever know Emma Nelson."

Emma stepped out of his embrace unwillingly, "Jay we have to talk about this. We can't just push it under the rug and not deal with it."

Jay took her hands intertwining their fingers, "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Let's go to bed." He pulled her into their bedroom that now was only half done, and held only a mattress.

She smiled and laid down on the mattress pulling him down beside her, "Jay I need you to understand that all those things I said this morning were a result of stress. The last thing I want you to think is that I'm unhappy."

He kissed her head lovingly, "Em I know that now, okay? You don't need to worry. Close those pretty eyes, I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, "It's cold in here. Have they not fixed the heat yet?"

Jay shook his head slightly before shrugging off his sweater and handing it off to her. She smiled graciously putting it on. Glancing at him with a sigh she spoke softly, "You're going to be cold now."

He shook his head again, "No I'll be okay. Are you good now? We can always go to your mom's place again."

She laid down and looked at him with loving eyes, "No I want to stay right here. Come here." Jay smiled a little laying down with her. She moved herself as close to him as she could get to his side laying her head on his chest. He reached pulling the small blanket around them, and his arms circling around her torso.

She closed her eyes finally managing to calm herself down and let sleep overcome her. Jay watched as her breathing regulated when she fell asleep. He sighed knowing how much he had hurt her today, not that she hadn't hurt him but, it killed him to see her sobbing like that on the floor not long ago. He kissed her forehead soundly one last time before closing his own eyes.

Emma stirred awake the following morning feeling tired, and sluggish. It was clearly a result of all the tears shed the day before. It had worn her out, and it showed. She sat up pushing the hair away from her face. Jay was awoken by the movement beside him. She smiled when he sat up beside her kissing her lips slowly.

She pulled away with a shy smile on her face, "Good morning Babe."

He wrapped both arms around her waist pulling her in a little more, "It is a good morning. I have my fiancee here in our bed, and she's looking so hot in my clothing right now."

Emma giggled slightly, "I love hearing you call me your fiancee."

Jay looked at her passionately, "Emphasis on mine. You are only ever going to bed mine for the rest of your life."

She laid her head on his shoulder, "I wouldn't want it any other way."

Jay sighed knowing it had to be discussed, "We have to talk about yesterday Em. Like you said we can't just ignore it."

She nodded looking at him with slight worry in her eyes. He saw it clear as much as she tried to hide it, and kissed her soundly, "Em don't worry. We're only talking about it. No one is going to get mad or go anywhere."

She smiled slightly while nodding feeling more confidant about this now. He sighed, "Em I know that I hurt you yesterday by leaving and writing that letter, but you have to understand that I was doing it for your own good."

Emma nodded, "I get that, I do, but it nearly killed me that you thought I was unhappy with you. Don't you understand that I feel the same way that you feel about me. I am constantly over the moon happy with you."

Jay smiled faintly at her statement, "I know that now Em, and I'll never do it again. In all fairness what you said gave me reason to wonder."

She looked down at her lap in shame. He recognized that immediately, and pulled her closer, "Hey it's okay, I'm not upset anymore."

She burst into tears letting her head drift into his lap. He rubbed her back, and soothed her until she calmed down. He lifted her to face him, "Em tell me what's going on?"

She wiped away a few new tears, "I just feel so bad about everything I said to you. It just kept coming out, and I didn't know what to do. You have no idea how upset I am about what I said to you. I hurt you really bad, and I know that. It kills me, because I need you around forever. I can't go around shouting stuff like that."

Jay hugged her forcefully, and she latched herself around his neck. She started to cry again, and this time he broke down as well. She managed to stop herself for his sake, and soothingly loosened their tight hug to kiss him on the lips softly. He reciprocated, and held onto her tight.

He pulled back, "What if you hadn't come over here, and fought as hard as you did for me? What would have happened to us?"

She smiled lightly brushing away his tears with her thumb, "I'll always fight as hard as I did last night to keep you around, but if someday I don't I hope you fight just as hard to keep me around."

Jay smiled lightly, "I love you Em, don't ever doubt that okay? Yes you hurt me yesterday when you said what you said, but I forgive you. Don't sit around thinking about this anymore."

Emma nodded, "Okay, and I'm really sorry for what I said."

Jay smirked playfully, "I know you are Babe. You're my fiancee, and my forever I promise to never try to leave you again."

Emma cupped his face with her tiny delicate hands, "Good, because I can't do that again. I love you Jayson."

Jay cringed at the use of his full name, "I love you too Emma Christine."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry this chapter took forever to get up. I'm fairly certain I thought about it everyday, but I could never find the time to make sure it was all ready for you. I feel so awful! I'm trying to be better I promise. I love you all xox.**

Emma pulled her suitcase through their now finished apartment. She smiled looking around at all the new furniture, "Well I have to say it looks so much better now."

Jay closed the front door behind them, "You're right, and it's really nice to be home."

She swirled around to face him, "I love Spike to death, but I also miss all the time alone with you."

Jay smirked taking her by the hand pulling her closer. "I know what you mean," Jay whispered closing in on her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed when he pressed his lips to hers. She gasped slightly when he picked her up carrying her to the bedroom.

He placed her down onto their new bed softly removing his large sweater. She giggled looking up at him, "You really don't waste anytime."

"How long has it been? Forgive me for moving it along. It's all because I love you," Jay said straddling her on the bed. She giggled some more as he leaned down towards her. She willingly wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down to her lips the remainder of the way.

He moved from her mouth, down her neck, and then back up towards her lips. Emma shuddered when his lips met that sweet spot on her neck. Her hands moved down towards the hem of his light t-shirt pushing it up over his head. She grazed her fingernails over his firm chest, and pushed him down beside her allowing Emma to straddle him now.

She planted a lingering kiss on his lips before traveling south. She moved down his bare chest slowly her mouth leaving soft open mouthed kisses behind. Her small hands worked quickly to rid him of his pants. She smirked when his erection sprang free. He gasped when she closed her hand around his base, and her mouth around his tip. She began to move slowly winding him up slowly. He let out a loud groan from the back of his throat. His head was spinning in ecstasy watching her head bob up and down.

He tossed his head back onto the pillows letting out multiple groans. Emma felt Jay swell before exploding into her mouth. She slowed as he came down from the orgasm. Slowly making her way back up by his side with a smirk. He kissed her sloppily on the lips when she came up beside him.

She settled in next to Jay, both of them on their sides. She felt his hands unbuttoning her shirt and she shrugged it off of her shoulders. He moved himself above her while moving his lips down her chest towards her centre. He popped open the button on her jeans pushing them away with his rough hands.

Emma whimpered when she felt his teeth pulling her underwear from her legs. He kissed the inside of her thighs softly before sliding his tongue between her folds. She moaned his name when his tongue entered her. She arched her back as Jay moved around inside of her. She felt herself coming close to the edge begging it to last longer.

She gasped arching her back even further when Jay removed his tongue and pushed into her. He moved his head into the crook of her neck both of them panting heavily. She raked her long nails up his back when he picked up the pace. He felt them both coming very close and picked up up the pace until they both let go.

She nearly screamed a long chain of moans and his name. He rode out their orgasms until collapsing beside her still catching his breath. Jay rolled onto his side putting his head back in the crook of her neck and draping his arm over her stomach. She laid on her back her breath finally under control.

"I'm not even sure I can move let alone want to," Emma said letting her head lean against his.

He chuckled quietly, "Well then looks like I did a good job."

She laughed along with him kissing his head, "You always do. I love you Jay."

He perked his head up to look her in the eyes, "You always say that after we have sex. I want to know why."

She looked at him with a small smile, "I don't know, I just always feel so close to you when we make love. It's always perfect with you so it's a perfect time to say it."

Jay kissed her nose, "Everything I've ever done with you has been perfect, so does that mean I can say it all the time?"

Emma laughed, "If you really want to. I never don't like hearing you say it."

Jay kissed her softly, "I love you too." She sighed when he pulled the sheets around them before snuggling back into her side. He wrapped both arms around her torso preventing her from moving anywheres, not that she wanted to.

She ran her hands through his hair, "Come on we can't stay in bed all day. I have stuff to do. JT & Toby want to hang out today."

Jay groaned, "Why do you hang out with them? All they do is ogle you every time."

Emma crawled out of bed leaning down to kiss his lips gingerly, "Is someone jealous of the two dorks I've known all my life?"

Jay rolled his eyes, "No, I just- Yeah okay fine, maybe I am."

She giggled, "Awe, Babe it's okay. I love you and only you. They're like my brothers."  
He scowled, "Doesn't stop them from staring. I just know what they're thinking, and that's not okay with me."

She raised an eyebrow while getting dressed, "How do you know what they're thinking? Is that because you think those things too?"

Jay smirked, probably thinking of those things right now, "Yeah, but I'm allowed."

Emma laughed, "That's what you think. I'm not sure I'm okay with all of these thoughts you seem to be having. I'm not some sex object Jayson, I'm your fiancee."

Jay got out of bed catching her arm before she left the room, "Oh I'm well aware of that. You're so much more than that. Go have fun with your friends. I'll see you later Ms. Nelson."

Emma kissed him sweetly before turning to leave. She grabbed his car keys and her cell phone before leaving their apartment. It wasn't long before she was pulling up to The Dot to meet the boys.

She spotted them sitting in the back corner with fries, "Hey guys."

JT looked up with a smile, "Hey Em, what took you so long?"

Emma smirked thinking about how she had spent the latter part of her morning, "We were able to move back into the apartment today. I had to unpack, sorry I took so long."

Toby sighed, "So Em, we wanted to talk to you about throwing a party for Manny. Her birthday is coming up, and we just thought you'd like to help."

JT leaned forward, "Actually Toby wants a party, I just want some fries."

Emma grinned at JT's statement not doubting it's truth. Then she turned slightly towards Toby, "I know you guys are all good and happy Tobs, but I'm not sure Manny and I are."

Toby furrowed his brow, "Why not? She missed you like crazy when you were gone. She used to say it all the time."

Emma raised her brow in return, "Key word being used to. Ever since Darcy came along I've lost my best friend."

Toby sighed reflecting on what the blonde had said, "I guess you're right, but that just means it's an even better idea. It'll help you get back in there with her if that's really what's going on."

Emma sighed looking down at the table, "Look Toby, I love you and JT dearly, but I just think Manny has moved on. End of story."

Toby sighed nodding, "I guess that's fair. Anyways, what happened yesterday? Someone said they heard you and Jay yelling in the hall."

Emma chuckled, "That's a long story. Basically everything built itself up to a point where we both said things we didn't mean. We worked it all out after a painful afternoon."

JT laughed, "So did you guys have like crazy make-up sex? That seems like a valid time to do so."

She rolled her eyes, "JT, that's for me to know."

He slapped Toby's arm playfully, "They totally did. Did you ever think Emma Nelson would do that?"

"It was only a matter of time until she gave into my hot body and beaming personality, right babe?"

"Jay?! What are you doing here? I thought you were at home," Emma said looking at Jay questioningly.

Jay smirks, "I just missed you too much." He leaned over to kiss her neck a few times ignoring the presence of JT and Toby.

Emma's cheeks went slightly pink, "I'm sure that was it."

Jay leans back, "Well partially. I needed a coffee boost. I'm wiped out."

JT points a finger directly at Emma, "That right there is proof. You, Emma Nelson, had hot make up sex this morning!"

Jay laughs, "Oh little boy, don't know that we always have the hottest of sex? Would I still be here otherwise?"

Emma's eyes widen as the two boys being to buckle over in laughter at her embarrassment. "Jay? You should not have said that!"

"What babe? I'm not lying," Jay said with a large grin. Emma laid her head down on the table to avert her eyes from anyone who heard or knew anything.

She heard Manny's voice break through the laughter. She groaned internally when Manny spoke, "Hey guys, what's so funny?"

Toby abruptly stopped laughing, while JT struggled more to control his fit of giggles. Toby coughed awkwardly, "Nothing Babe, just hanging out."

Manny rolled her eyes, "Thanks for the invite."

Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes at Manny. Had Manny known she was going to be there she wouldn't have come anyways so why does it matter. Emma stood up pushing Jay out of the booth, "Come on let's go. It was nice to hang out boys, see you."

Manny held Emma's arm preventing her from walking away, "Wait Em, stay. I haven't seen you in ages."

Grinding her teeth slightly Emma kept her cool, "That's because you have been way too busy for me ever since I've come back to town. Even before I came back I only got the occasional text."

Manny looked at the ground in shame. Emma noticed Toby in the background begging her silently not to make a scene. Emma continued on anyways, "It's fine Manny, you've moved on." She turned to leave with Jay taking his hand in desperate need of support.

"Em, I-"

"No Manny, I don't need you anymore," Emma said dragging Jay out of the Dot. She dropped his hand to get in the car, but stopped and kicked his front tire.

Jay looked up in shock, "Hey Em, calm down."

Emma glared at him with glossy eyes and clenched fists, "Calm down? Really Jay?"

Jay came closer laying his hands on her upper arms, "Em, if you really want to fix things I'm sure she would. Manny's not unreasonable."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I don't want to fix things. She's controlling, and shallow, and many other things I hate. I'm more angry for not saying what should really have been said."

Jay chuckled with a small smirk appearing on his face, "How did I get so lucky with you? You're just so cute when you're mad like that."

Emma tried desperately to keep the smile from her face, but it was clearly poking through, "Jay, seriously. I lived in her shadow for years, and it took me all this time to realize it."

Jay tucked a strand of hair behind her ear kindly, "Em, you were never in her shadows. Not in my eyes anyways."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I only question your honesty right now because you tormented me for years."

Jay's smirk grew a little larger, "I only tease because I love."

Emma kissed him softly on the lips, "Thank you. I needed that. I'm sorry I was such a bitch in there. It had to come out."

Jay circled back around to his side of the car, "Hey don't apologize. It was kind of hot."

Emma laughed before getting in the car, "Did you walk down here? I took your car."

Jay nodded, "I did. I haven't walked anywhere in a long time. Thanks for that."

They pulled out of the Dot before Emma spoke again, "If you really wanted to come hang out with us then you should have said so. I would have brought you along."

Jay glanced at her, momentarily taking him eyes off the road, "Yeah right. You do not like me hanging out with them."

Emma sighed, "Only because it's for everyone's well being. We all know very well how JT really feels about you after the whole prescription drug thing. Manny doesn't like anyone, including you, so why start something?"

Jay stopped the car in their lot, "Em, I'm not the instigator anymore. I'm with you, and I want to be friends with your friends. No matter how dorky they are."

Emma gasped pretending to be offended, "Hey I'm a dork just like the rest of them."

Jay smirked taking her hand, "Yeah, but you're my dork." Emma kissed his cheek sweetly before they both sauntered up to their unpacked apartment. Emma groaned when she shut the door realizing how much they had to do in one day.


	11. Chapter 11

**Good lord I'm awful at updating lately. I've been preparing for my dance recital, which was yesterday, and I guess you can call that my excuse. I've been practicing all the time which leads to exhaustion. I'm sorry for the very late updates!**

"Hey Lib, how was your weekend?" Emma asked with a smile in the hallway.

"Emma, I have strict instructions from one Manny Santos not to speak to you. Even JT and Toby do at this point. I am currently unaware of what you did to Manny, but I'm only doing as told here. Goodbye."

Emma scoffs turning around to see Jay standing with a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry Babe. That really sucks. Hopefully they'll all grow a pair, and be real friends."

Emma nodded, "I know they'll come around, but in the mean time looks like it's just you and me Baby."

Jay laughed, "You're too cute, but don't go around telling anyone I said that because I got a reputation to uphold."

Emma laughed, "I think you lost that rep when you gave me this." She held up her hand that held her engagement ring proudly. He ran a finger over it for a moment.

"Well then I guess I made the right choice. You'll always be my number one Em," Jay said looking at her happily.

"And you'll always be my number one. Forever Jayson," She stated sitting down with him on the bench before heading to class.

"Please stop using my full name like that," Jay pleaded as he shuddered hearing it.

Emma laughed, "Why do you hate it so much? It's not that bad."

Jay shrugged, "All those shitty adults in life called me Jayson. It has some bad memories attached, like elementary school for instance."

She broke into fits of laughter, "No one really looks back on elementary school fondly. I sure don't."

Jay smiled, "Well someday when I buy you a cute little house, and we both have rings on our fingers then we'll have a little girl just like you and she will look back on elementary school fondly. I promise you."

Emma giggled letting her head falling into the crook of his neck. She kissed his neck softly staying as close to him as possible. He wrapped an arm around her firmly, and kept her just as close.

He barely heard her faint whisper, but it made him smile. "I love you forever Jay."

He kissed her head before whispering back, "I love you that much more Em."

The bell rang, and reluctantly Emma got up off the bench followed by Jay. They sauntered off to class slowly hand in hand. Emma tried to stop herself from smiling like an idiot. Jay remarks her feeble attempt, "Em, it's not working."

Her face reddened at his remark when they sat down in class, "Stop it. It's all your fault."

Jay rolls his eyes, complete with a smirk, "So you sound like you're upset because I love you."

Emma smacked his arm playfully, "Stop being such a smart ass."

Jay crossed his arms, "Abuse, by my fiancee over here." The teacher came in the room and most peoples voices hushed. Emma rolled her eyes at Jay, and got out her notebook. The remainder of class was silent as the teacher lectured on about cellular division.

The rest of the day followed similarly to that. The couple went from class to class only really speaking with each other. The day wore on, and Emma's annoyance with Manny's persistence on stealing all of Emma's friends was becoming more irritating.

Emma drove to the shop after school to drop Jay off for work. He swung around the drivers side stealing a long kiss from her, "Bye Em. I'll call you when you can come pick me up."

She nodded with a small smile, "You know I'll be here. Love you Babe."

Jay walked backwards away from the car mouthing I love you a few times. Emma giggled before putting the window up, and driving home. She made a quick pit stop at the Dot for coffee. She didn't see anyone she knew. She drove home and flopped onto the couch with the TV remote.

After Emma's boring afternoon on the couch Jay finally called for her to come pick him up. She raced out the door, and drove there in good time. He was leaning up against the brick wall when she arrived.

He sat down in the front seat with a smile, "Hey Babe."

Emma leaned over to kiss him softly, "Hey you."

Jay settled back into the seat after the short kiss, "How was your afternoon?"

Emma groaned slightly, "Pitifully boring honestly."

Jay laughed, "Poor Emma, without me for a few hours, and you're bored out of your mind."

Emma rolled her eyes at him, "I'd be a hell of a lot better if Manny stopped trying to take away all the friends I've got."

Jay patted her knee sympathetically, "It'll all blow over within this week, and you'll have Liberty, JT, and Toby back in no time at all."

Emma parked the car, and looked at him with slightly sad eyes, "I really hope so. As much as I can't deal with Manny anymore the rest of them are still my friends. As long as they don't bring Darcy around either."

Jay laughed, "Now honestly do you really hate Darcy or do you just not like the fact that she's Manny's new best friend?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't even know anymore. She looked at you as though you were about to become the prize to won, and I don't think I'm okay with that."

Jay pulled her upstairs to their apartment, "Oh Em, it's never a competition because you always win."

Emma kissed him fully on the lips with a grin now, "You're right I'll always win. You are never going anywhere."

Jay stopped in the hallway on the way to their bedroom, "Marry me Emma Nelson."

Emma stopped to look at him. She held up her engagement ring slightly while looking confused, "I thought we already did this. I said yes the first time Babe. You've already given me the ring and everything."

Jay shook his head and took his fiancee by the waist, "No, I mean actually marry me, not just make the promise to someday. Be my wife."

Emma looked utterly shocked, "When do you want to marry me Jay?"

Jay looked down at her hands that rested on his chest softly, "RIght now."

Emma's eyes widened to the size of golf balls, "Are you serious? If you're joking then-"

"I'm being as serious as the day I gave you that ring. Please Em, we'll go down to the town hall right now. I'll just have a shower, and you can put on a little dress or something. We can stop for rings on the way there."

Emma placed her hands on Jay's face, "Hey, calm down. There's no need to go right this second and get married. We can wait until Saturday or Sunday even. I want to go, and pick out a nice dress somewhere, and I want to have my hair done."

Jay took a deep breath, "Em, I don't care what you look like. I just want to be your husband."

She ran her hand through his shaggy hair, "Jay, I love you to the moon and back. I'll always want you to be my husband whether it's right now or tomorrow or next week. I just want to be able to look nice and take pictures, maybe even invite our friends."

Jay nodded, "I guess that's alright."

Emma smiled at him sweetly, "What was that about? You've always been about someday, and making sure we're old enough to really be married."

Jay shrugged taking his hands in his, "I guess since we had that fight I just don't want you to leave. I know you say you never will, but what if you do? I wouldn't handle it as well as you did."

She laughed, "Jay did you miss my panic attack on our kitchen floor?"

Jay laughed along with her, "I know, but honestly I'd probably handle it worse if you ever left me."

She dropped his hands, "Jay, I can't believe you're saying this right now. I'm leaving, and I'm never coming back. I can't believe you don't have faith in me."

She slid her ring off of her finger, and slipped it into his pants pocket. He stood there froze for a moment as she walked around him. She was only a few feet away from their door when he dove past her barely making it in front of her. Emma tried to step over his body on the ground, but he pulled her down on top of him.

Emma tried one last time to get up, but he kept his arms firmly around her small waist. He took a deep breath, "Emma don't go. I promise to never bring it up again. I have complete faith in you. I love you."

She stayed quiet for a few moments still locked into place facing the ceiling. She felt his breathing hitch then she quickly turned around with a large grin spreading across her face, "I totally had you."

Jay's very serious face turned to complete shock, "You're kidding?!"

She kissed his lips softly, "I am. I'm sorry, I just thought it'd be funny. At least now I know that you're really never going to let me leave."

Jay glared at her, "Don't ever do that again. DId you see the tears? I never cry, but you right there made me cry."

She smiled sympathetically at him, "I'm so sorry baby. You know how much I love you. I only ask you one thing right now?"

He cocked his eyebrow waiting for her request. She pulled them both up off the floor before speaking, "Can I have my ring back?"

Jay reached into his pocket, and took out the small ring in between his thumb and forefinger. She reached out for it, but he kept it out of reach. She crossed her arms, "Jay, that's mine. I want it back."

He smiled before sinking down towards the floor on one knee. She uncrossed her arms with a growing smile on her face. He cleared his throat, "Emma Christine Nelson, will you do me the honour of marrying me very very soon. Possibly this weekend if it works for you."

Emma held out her left hand with a grin, "I would love to, and I do believe my Sunday afternoon is free."

Jay slid the ring back onto her finger where it belonged. She latched herself around his neck when he stood in front of her. He kissed her head multiple times with an enormous grin on his face, "Then it's settled we will get married this Sunday. Although I'm unsure we need to be apart on Saturday night."

Emma laughed, "No I think we'll be okay. Besides when are we supposed to have time for the last unmarried sex we will ever have."

Jay kissed her lips passionately this time. After breaking away he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Emma Nelson, you are so unbelievably sexy when you talk about our sex lives."

Emma's cheeks turned pink, "Stop it."

Jay kissed her neck, "I'm being very serious right now. How about we go ahead, and practice right now?"

Emma nodded her head lulling to the side as he kissed her neck a few more times. She stood there with her eyes slowly closing. He scooped her up under her knees carrying her off to their bedroom.

Laying her down on the bed softly Jay removed his shirt before plastering his lips to hers. She arched her back towards his bare chest that hovered above her. Using one hand to support himself and the other to remove her shirt she sighed when their hot flesh collided.

Emma moved her hands down his back slowly moving towards his belt buckle. His pants and boxers came off in one motion leaving Emma in only her sweats. He removed her pants quickly glancing down at her naked body, "No underwear. I am certainly not opposed."

She giggled letting her hands trail through his hair. Jay moved down her body slowing making his way to her centre leaving open mouthed kisses the whole way. She sighed when his lips met her lower stomach.

He moved his hand into her first as her eyes fluttered closed, and she moaned quietly. He hand moved in a quick motion making Emma's back arch. She moaned louder now. Jay removed his fingers from her quickly replacing it with his talented tongue. She called his name even louder again. He grinned to himself knowing only he could do this to her.

She panted mixing elicit moans and calling Jay's name now. She felt her stomach contract when she hit her climax with an orgasm. Jay slowed, still using his tongue, to help her come down from the climax.

When she was done he got up slowly pulling the covers over her body. He kissed her head with a smile. He caught his arm as he walked away from the bed, "Hey we're not done here. Where do you think you're going?"

Jay smiled kissing her forehead, "I know you're tired. Go to sleep, I've got this. We've got the rest of our lives together. Tonight is all about you. I'm here to please you."

Emma's smile widened slightly, "Awe babe. You're too sweet, especially after what I did to you. I love you."

Jay chuckled, "I know I should be mad, but I can't be mad at you. You could have actually left. I'm just glad you didn't. I love you Emma. Go to sleep, I'll be back soon."


End file.
